Dad didn’t vanish—he just booked an extended getaway to the realm where form is an illusion. He said he’d send postcards, but the realm doesn’t have reliable mail service. This hoodie’s the souvenir: a wearable probability field from his all-inclusive stay at the edge of existence.
The text says “T-shirt,” but that’s reality doing what it does best—improvising. Somewhere between the illusion of form and the Shopify checkout, the universe re-rendered it as a hoodie. Which, honestly, feels about right.
Slip it on and remember: you’re not wearing cotton—you’re wearing condensed uncertainty, stitched together by observation and a dash of familial bewilderment. This is what happens when vacation merch realizes it’s self-aware: all-inclusive, non-local, and probably on sale in another dimension.
It’s what you wear when you’re back from a trip you never really left.
Product features - Spacious kangaroo pouch pocket keeps hands warm - Adjustable drawstring hood for a custom fit - Made of 50% cotton and 50% polyester for durability - Classic fit with soft, cozy fabric for chilly days - Ethically produced with OEKO-TEX-certified dyes
Care instructions - Tumble dry: medium - Iron, steam or dry: low heat - Do not dryclean - Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F) - Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
